As you may know, compatibility in various aspects of your relationship is super important for couples to last long-term. For instance, having shared values and expectations for the future are two very basic things you and your partner need to see eye-to-eye on. Having great physical chemistry is another and some even make it a point to date people with compatible zodiac signs. But according to experts, there’s one really important thing that tends to get overlooked. In case you might not have known, intellectual compatibility in relationships is just as important to have as anything else.
“Intellectual compatibility is when both people are mentally stimulated by the same conversations,” relationship coach and expert, Jenna Ponaman, CPC, tells Bustle. This doesn’t necessarily mean you both need to have the same IQ level. It simply means that you both have the capacity to indulge in deep conversations that become mutually interesting for the two of you.
According to Ponaman, this is important to have because it will shed a light on how compatible you are in other areas of your relationship. “For example one person may be sexually compatible with their partner, but if they don’t find them interesting on a more intellectual level, the ability to make this a thriving lasting serious relationship is slim,” she says. In other words, it’s really hard to make a relationship last if you and your partner have nothing to talk about.
One Partner Always Feels Like The “Teacher”
“If one partner feels intellectually superior and the other feels intellectually inferior, this can be a big problem in the relationship,” licensed ily therapist, Heidi McBain, M.A., tells Bustle. This one may seem obvious, but sometimes you don’t really notice it until you actually take a step back and reflect on your situation. Have you ever felt like your partner turns every little mistake you make into a “teachable moment”? Are they always right and you’re always wrong?